Lord love a duck...

Amid the furore over Mp’s expenses during the last 14 days, aren’t we missing the point in lambasting Tory back bencher Sir Peter Viggers who today announced he was retiring at the behest of David Cameron?

Amidst expenses claims for various gardening projects totalling some £30,000 was a relatively meagre outlay of £1,645 for a “duck island”, identical to the one shown here, which provides a safe haven for waterfowl amidst the distressingly opulent surroundings of Sir Viggers’ back yard.

Rather than a spiteful show of contempt for the British taxpayer, shouldn’t Sir Viggers’ endeavours instead be hailed as a triumph of nature preservation in a harsh economic time where environmental budgets are otherwise facing decimation? Clearly Sir Viggers has the best interests of our billed buddies at heart, and is in no way interested in populating his garden with expensive follies on a tab picked up by those of us in gainful employment.

The Top Banana salutes you, Viggers. May your altruistic endeavours in the name of the humble British water fowl continue well into your retirement, where we are sure you will have more than enough spare cash to continue your pricelss preservation work.