I'll get you, Butler!

In a move that has blindsided the entire world, Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe is not playing with the toys given to him for his birthday by the UN recently. In a “rattle out of pram” scenario that absolutely nobody could possibly have seen coming, Mugabe has pulled the rug from under the power-sharing deal he agreed with former opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai and appointed his own people in charge of several key ministries within the newly formed government.

The move comes as a shock to the international community due to Mugabe’s spotless record for cooperation and numerous prior acts of unprecedented altruism.

Seriously though, what was the point of this “power sharing” deal ever going to be when one half has a proven track record of violently opposing democratic election, never mind sharing? The very notion of a sharing deal flies in the face not just of common sense, but most importantly the right of the people of Zimbabwe to have a democratically elected leader who is not a sociopath and who nobody wants in control of a single aspect of Zimbabwean life, no matter how insignificant. Ever.

No doubt the removal of Mugabe would plunge Zimbabwe once more into dark times, and yes; many people would die. We seem to have forgotten however that several tens of millions of people died a little over fifty years ago in order to put paid to fascism in Europe, and if the price of your loved ones living a free life is that you must risk your own then it’s time the politicians stopped mollycoddling the situation, spent a couple of quid putting a bullet through Mugabe’s ridiculously be-moustached face and get stuck in about the situation.

And if they can’t do that then they should just back the hell off entirely and stop pretending to have any interest in promoting democracy.

*** UPDATE! *** UPDATE! *** UPDATE! ***

It has been brought to my attention that if Robert Mugabe were to be shot in the face he would, in all likelihood, be unable to enjoy the proposed remake of cult 80s song and dance classic Footloose, which will apparently star Zac Efron.