Michael: horrible little crack troll

Celebrity crack-fiend George Michael has once again evaded punishment from the police after being found in possession of class A and C drugs in a public toilet on Hampstead Heath, London. Smack muncher Michael was let off with a caution after being rumbled by officers from the Metropolitan Police.

The incident is just the latest in a string of indiscretions perpetrated by the “singer”, following a number of drug and public order offences over the past decade. Most recently Michael was found slumped semi-conscious over the wheel of his car beside London’s Marble Arch in October 2006, with the singer citing “fatigue” as the reason for his diminished constitution at the time. He was later given a two year driving ban after admitting to driving while under the influence of illegal substances.

In accordance with London’s policy of “one rule for the beautiful people, another for the rest of us”, Home Office Minister Tony McNulty reminded we, the poor people, that discretion was an officer’s most powerful weapon in the fight against drug crime, stating that the law needed to be “flexible” in it’s approach to punishment. This, presumably, is the reason why a man with a string of previous convictions for drug possession, drug use, dangerous driving and sucking on a full-on frontal chubby in a public toilet can be caught, once again in a public toilet, with crack cocaine and marijuana and not be made an example of.

The Metropolitan Police have failed to respond to allegations put by the Top Banana that Mr. Michael was let off lightly after rolling the arresting officers a “fat one” and offering to polish their truncheons.