Bush: sold your granny
U.S. President George W. Bush yesterday addressed his country in a prime time television broadcast, warning the American public that a drastic government buyout of bad Wall Street investments was necessary to avert economic collapse. The proposed package is likely to cost American taxpayers up to $700bn, equivalent to $2,300 for every man, woman and child in the country (though Tex-Mex border patrol officials are like to dispute that figure).
The news follows a number of financial crises over the past months which have cast doubt over the viability of recent Western banking practices. The world has realised, it seems, that you can’t trust fat cat bankers and hedge fund managers to run the economy with the safety off.
<–INSERT SLOW CLAP HERE–>
The Top banana would like to reach out in solidarity to our American cousins and reassure them that they are in safe hands. George Bush Jnr. may be a many-time failed business man, and he may have spent the last 8 years throwing away anything up to $1trillion (at current estimates) of your hard-earned tax money floating an unwinnable war in Iraq, but his financial credentials are surely beyond reproach. Ah, fuck it. Who are we kidding? At least us Brits are tied by the ankle to the monetary misdeeds of your leaders, so you’ll have some company on the long journey down.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I’m not a rich man. I don’t own a car, couldn’t afford to run one anyway-Tax, insurance and petrol costs are way beyond me, I haven’t ever been able to afford a holiday for my three girls in well over ten years, we don’t have any mod-cons -no plasma T.V. no internet, no broadband, no sky T.V. no stereo system, no home cinema set-up, no home computer or laptop no huge American fridge.
Hell, I can’t even afford right now to have a home telephone because it’s so expensive.
My home isn’t special, needs so much work doing to, that its not even funny. The cost of doing would
take thousands of pounds that I don’t have.
I look at this world through envious eyes every single day and it does hurt.
There is a plenty of money in this world and were I wish I could just compete for the sake of my family, others just seem to want more and more and forget what it is life is about for the likes of us.
I guess that is either very good luck or greed.
My missus faced a long long walk today with our kids in tow to get shopping as the bus
fare is too high and we had a choice to make, dinner or transport.
So don’t feel an ounce of regret for these assholes in the power money corridors. They have all they
could ever wish for.
For me and my young family they simply will never know a life of comforts and luxury that some take for granted unless one day fortune smiles on us.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
The lesson of course, is that it’s entirely okay to bail out a massively screwed up system provided the scale of the screw up is large enough. Therefore, I’m off to buy a Lear jet on the Visa and wait for the inevitable governmental freecash.